Throughout high school many students experience their first love, but just as many experience their first breakup. Breakups can be hard, no matter how many times you have gone through them. Breakups are especially difficult when you are in high school. Although adults sometimes downplay breakups between teens, they can cause many detrimental effects. According to research, it is believed that breakups are the number one cause for suicide among young people. One study shows that 40 percent of teens experience clinical depression after a relationship ends, while 12 percent experience moderate to severe depression. Breakups can also cause substance abuse, self-harm, intrusive thoughts, sleeplessness, and many other horrible side effects. Since breakups strongly affect so many teens, I interviewed a student at SHS on how they got through a breakup this year.
How long were you and your ex dating? Who broke up with who?
“We were dating for a year and a half, and I broke up with him.”
What helped you the most with your breakup?
“Staying close with my family and friends helped me a lot.”
How were you able to keep your mind off of the breakup?
“I found hobbies to keep myself busy. Some hobbies I really enjoyed were reading and cleaning.”
How do you feel about communications with your ex?
“I decided to block all forms of communication to allow each of us to heal without the other one inflicting more pain. It was just a healthier option for us because we wouldn’t have the toxic cycle of running back to each other.”
What do you feel helped you get over your ex?
“For me personally, I began to read my Bible a lot more and find who I am in Christ. I also began to talk about my feelings to trusted friends who had known both of us, so they gave less biased answers and told me just what I needed, not what I wanted to hear.”
How long after the breakup did you begin to feel happy again?
“Months. It takes a while, but with the right people you should heal almost completely.”
What other advice would you give to someone going through a breakup right now?
“You should find happiness in yourself first. You can’t give someone else the ability to keep you happy because they will always let you down. You are the only person that should be in charge of your happiness. I also believe that you should let your anger and sadness out completely. Don’t hold that in to look tough because eventually it’ll catch up with you, and it will be worse than it could’ve been.”
Everyone’s breakups are different. If you are going through a breakup right now, know that it will take time. Even if it does not happen overnight, you will eventually heal. Always remember that your feelings and emotions are valid. If you are struggling, do not be afraid to reach out. Many people have gone through breakups before and would be able to empathize with you. Friends, teachers, counselors, and other trusted adults are all good resources. Remember that you are never alone. :)