You have probably heard someone tell a girl after she has done something cool or amazing be told, “hey, you’re not like other girls!” It’s considered a compliment, right? Well, not exactly.

That statement is usually thrown around when a girl is a good athlete, doesn’t wear a lot of makeup, a boss, or likes not-so-stereotypical “feminine” activities. So, telling a girl that, you’re basically saying other girls are not as accomplished as that one in particular, or that other girls are not as “respectable” as that one.

The popularity of a statement such as that one exposes the stigma that has been around for a long time surrounding femininity and power. When girls do activities or act in a way that isn’t considered feminine or they are independent, they are told they aren’t like other girls because those qualities are equated to men and power. That shouldn’t be the case because women can be unapologetically feminine and be powerful. Telling a girl that she isn’t like the other girls only continues to fuel the sexist fire we live in.

Another issue with “the other girls” statement is that it pits women against one another. The statement creates a stereotype that all girls are the same, and that girls have to be unique to get male attention. From childhood, girls are taught that feminine traits are to be punished and masculine traits are to be praised. In return, that creates an atmosphere that is harmful to girls who want to be unapologetically feminine.

A lot of boys use that statement to try to flirt with girls. Stop it! You are insulting that girl’s sister, mother, aunt, grandmother, friends, and etc.. There’s a wave of feminism rising up in adolescent girls, so I suggest trying to find another pick-up line. Try to compliment the girl and her amazingness while not promoting sexism.